Parenting by Cell Phone and Text Message
Prior to Brennan's abduction in July 2007, any exchanges like what follows would never have taken place. Where did he learn that he can completely disrespect his father without any repercussions? Perhaps it was when the custody arrangement fell to him alone. Try to act like a father, like a parent, when you can be hung up on or ignored entirely.
Since Brennan was removed from my life, I have attempted to stay in contact with him by phone and text message. But it is no way to maintain a father-son relationship. I don't know if he gets the messages or not . Most times he does not reply.
There have been the occasional emotional messages. I make no apologies for my honest emotions. Already Brennan has been backing into the reasons for not staying in touch. However, if you look at the actual information, the course of his alienation from his father is quite clear.
The following calendar indicates the days when I have seen Brennan. White for days when I have seen him. Shaded for days when I have not seen him. There appears to be a strange imbalance. But no explanation has been offered. There was no disagreement, or argument which lead to his disappearance. In July, he had just finished telling me he would be home through the weekend because he had to work. He got a phone call and he said that he was going to the barn. I'm not so sure he knew he wasn't coming back when he left that night. I didn't know. Brennan hasn't returned since July 11, just about an hour or two after I wrote to my attorney with the information needed to respond to the divorce paperwork. The Keyword Alert feature of the surveillance software notifies the 'spy' once I use any word they have entered on a keyword list.
The following text messages have been my only contact with Brennan for quite some time. This is EVERY MESSAGE sent to him. And also EVERY MESSAGE FROM BRENNAN. (There aren't many in the FROM side.)
|To add insult to injury, these messages have been characterized as badgering Brennan and causing him stress and strain. So much so that he needs his custody agreement changed from being his own choice to it, um?, NOT being his own choice????|
|Unless Brennan has become a lactose intolerant vegetarian I am uncertain
about what could induce stress and strain in these messages. |
Dec 12, 2007
20:55 Hey rc invited me onstage to sing during the first show. We did .how sweet it is. Too cool!
Dec 13, 2007
20:53 [Video from Rita Coolidge Christmas Show]
Dec 14, 2007
15:07 Outback tonight?
Dec 19, 2007 [While in Lansdale with Brennan's Grandmother, I attempt to visit as she hasn't seen him since July.]
14:58 Dude, where r u? In lansdale with grandma joan. Wanna see u.
15:21 Brennan - At scool
15:23 Need a ride?
15:57 Call me. Please
January 17, 2008 [This was the first exchange in weeks. It lasted 1.5 Hours while I waited outside the high school.]
(From Earlier) 11:15 Are you ok?
14:26 Brennan - Yes
14:37 i am at apartment. where r u?
14:38 Brennan - Stayed After
14:38 Want me 2 pick u up.
14:39 What time r u done?
14:39 Brennan - Im in the midle of a lab
14:40 Brennan - No i got some1 2 stayafter 4 me
14:41 bren ! we need 2 talk.
14:50 will wait in front of school.
14:59 Brennan - No
15:00 Already @ school bud
15:01 Brennan - Then leav
15:02 What? why?
15:11 ?? what time are you gonna be done? do you want mc d's?
15:22 Brennan - Leav
15:35 Bren. we need to talk. whatever your reasons! and the sources of info. we need to talk about it.
15:45 ? what is your mothers number?
15:50 Do you still have your ride? i'm gonna stop at police stn on way home. hope to see you soon. - pls respond
15:53 Can't leave until u confirm ride.
15:54 Brennan - Ride is confirmed
15:57 Ok. bud i wish you would explain yourself. please. not communicating only makes this harder. .
Saturday January 19, 2008 [Sonya trades a visit with Brennan for delivery of paperwork she left in the home. I finally hear back from him - but he responds hours after I sent the message. Sonya had indicated she would call back but never did.]
21:20 Please call me.
00:42 Brennan - Alrite i wil meet with to around 8 30
00:44 Great. why u up so late?
00:45 Brennan - Tv n i got off on monday so im not wried about it
I called through on the voice line to confirm AM or PM and let him know I was happy he finally answered the phone.
Sunday January 20, 2008 [After spending 2.5 hours together. First time together since November 21, 2007 - 62 days]
23:33 G'night it was great to see you.
Monday January 21, 2008 (School Holiday)
13:48 Um, you were going to call around noon???
18:15 Hello? call me. dude, we talked about this- don't make me worry
21:13 Dude! whats the holdup? we talked about this? right? please call me!
Tuesday January 22, 2008
15:24 Brennan, where did you learn this disrespect? not acceptable behavior! pls call. it is difficult to 'parent' by phone and text message.
EMAILED Brennan, please call me. I want to talk to you about coming home. I prefer that your mother and I agree, but she refuses to discuss it and insists you get the pressure of choosing without any discussions. The decision is not only yours. That was the agreement, it wasn't the law. I'd rather not take it to court, but I'm not going to let it go on like the last six months. I want you to understand what is happening. Please Call.
20:19 Are we back to you ignoring me again? bren, please don't. i really can't stand back and let this happen and leave you the blame for everything. pls call.
21:26 Please call me i have a question.
23:46 I hope you realize how really happy i was to see you on sunday. stay in touch - it is so important.
January 23, 2008 Brennan stopped responding to phone or text messages.
Brennan appeared on May 5, 2008 with no explanation as to why he had not responded to any message in 4 months.
Wednesday January 23 2008
06:37 i haven't slept all night. worrying and crying. brenni- please dont ignore me again. please i am begging you. do you see how this is hurting me?
06:52 What did i do that was so wrong to deserve this destruction? pls call me. i need you. i love you. i have to know you understand how serious this is. have compassion - pls call
06:55 Brennan - I wil cal later 2day
06:57 I cry here alone all night praying for a miracle against all the hate.
07:00 What did i do so wrong to be hated so completely? by my own sons.
07:03 I would never have allowed you to do this to your mother. how can you see my pain and not respond?
07:09 The more i think of you the more i cry. i cant stop worrying about you. pls fix this relationship. it is so important.
07:14 This is so important. why cant you respond? i feel so alone and facing the impossible task of my life. and by txt msg. realize what you are doing to me!
19:14 Bren, what can you say that justifies your behavior towards me? what lies are you not revealing? i've found someone you can talk to. make use of them when they contact you. i'm trying hard to help you. dont make it so difficult to give you the info to understand your choices. you said you would call??
20:28 are you safe? are you being prevented from talking again? you said you didn't realize it before. do you see now? pls call - i don't want to have the police check on you.
23:48 You said you would call. i begged you to help with recovering this mess. colin said he hates me. i've had enough pain.
January 24, 2008
17:25 Dinner? tonight? tomorrow? oven stuffer chicken. call me.
17:40 Terance to Sonya - i just called brennans phone and clearly heard you say 'hang up' then the phone disconnected. you are again clearly preventing communication. you are putting him in an unfair position. please behave like a good co-parent and allow me access.
January 25, 2008
07:02 Dinner tonight? pls call.
07:28 Again, not responding? i won't reward your bad behavior by ignoring you. come home. call me.
15:41 I saw you called. out of meeting now. are you coming to dinner? Terance to Brennan - um, when you called earlier was it unintentional? let me know. if you still want - dinner is at 7.
17:11 OMG - it really was an accident that you called? for real? dude. Come over. dinner is at seven. chicken is a ten Pounder - got plenty. bring a hungry friend or 2.
January 26, 2008
18:45 Hey bud. when do we get to talk again? pls call - chicken was yummy. wanna come over for pork chops?
January 29, 2008
07:23 It has been weeks again. i explained myself and every action. i wish you would offer me the same courtesy and explain yourself. please, just explain WHY??
January 30, 2008
6:13 Are yopu ever going to tell me what is wrong? i can;t repair when i don;t know what is broken. please let's talk.
February 1, 2008
16:27 I hope you are OK. i wish you would tell what the problem is so we could discuss it and get back to normal again. so much time is being lost. pls call.
February 2, 2008
Any Time today...
18:48 I have no idea why you are ignoring me and the rest of YOUR FAMILY. Please let's find time to talk this through. call me.
18:21 Sorry, i had no choice but to ask police to check on you. even they agree that if i go over to try to see you your mom will call them without cause. please contact me.
February 12, 2008
15:39 Are you ever going to explain yourself? i am finding more everyday. we need to talk its been a month.
February 13, 2008
17:52 Lynn keller is on amer idol. call me please
19:45 There are some days when all i think about are the things we are missing out on.
February 14, 2008
14:54 Please let's talk. tomorrow is the 1 year mark of the computer hack. we need to get to the truth. i think you know the truth. don't cheat me & you for the sake of protecting them. do the right thing - it's hard to do - but better all around.
February 17, 2008
14:56 When will I see you again?.
22:00 Are you getting these msgs? bren, let's talk. i think you have some very wrong info. the stuff i knew she would try to use against me. it is not real or true. i am still me, your father. don't believe what they say about me. ask me anything.
February 18, 2008
18:40 This is becoming very hurtful. we need to talk
18:51 Please call me
18:52 Please call me.
18:53 Please call me.
18:56 I'm going to stop over. what time is good?
19:09 Please call me.
19:11 Please call me.
February 19, 2008
17:17 Please call me.
18:39 How are we supposed to fix things when you will not respond?
February 20, 2008
16:15 Please call me.
19:52 Your continued avoidance is honestly breaking my heart. i love you buddy.
20:02 Please call me.
February 21, 2008
16:02 Why are you treating me like this? it is exactly what i told you she would do. parental alienation. she got you too.
21:57 dinner tomorrow?.
February 22, 2008
12:03 Dinner tonight?
17:23 I haven't heard back about dinner tonight. please call me.
February 24, 2008
12:55 Cold stone creamery?
February 27, 2008
18:20 Haven't heard from you... are you ok? please call me.
February 28, 2008
16:28 I hope someday to understand why you are ignoring my msgs. please call me sop we can talk things through. i miss you buddy!
February 29, 2008
14:40 Outback tonight?
March 2, 2008
12:46 Want to come over for steaks on the grill? you can cook'em!
16:01 how do you think you did yeste3reday on the SAT? please call me.
17:57 Have a new movie if you want to come over tonight. & popcorn too!
March 3, 2008
14:52 Are you up for cold stone creamery? give me a call.
15:41 Do you understand how much it hurts to be ignored for months at a time? we'll never get this time back. i'll continue to try to get the court to take responsibility for causing this mess. hope to see you before the 25th.
March 4, 2008
15:18 Answer your phone.
16:44 Have you noticed how everything she says i am doing to her always happens to me instead? dude, open your eyes to the truth and come home.
March 5, 2008
16:25 It hurts me so mush that your mother has forced you to ignore me. i love you & miss you. please come home.
March 6, 2008
14:39 Cold stone creamery?
March 7, 2008
21:52 I wish that sometime you would explain why you think it is appropriate to ignore me. you owe me that much. yes, you owe me that.
March 8, 2008
13:17 Want to come over for arthur treachers chicken.
17:46 Brennan, are you believing the lies when you know better? your mom should be ashamed for putting all this on you. come home I'll help you thru. and it would help me to not have to worry about you.
March 11, 2008
15:33 Terance to Brennan - Is there some condition that must be met before you will respond???
March 12, 2008
14:59 Terance to Colin - Must hear from you about insurance for malibu ASAP.
19:30 Terance to Colin - Insurance expires in 2 weeks. i must know now so it doesn't lapse.
March 13, 2008
18:23 Hey bren, let me know when you are ready to talk. i'm here waiting. with all of your time spent studying it is strange that extra effort is not visible in your grades. as always, homework help is avail here.
March 17, 2008
14:52 I hope you wore green today!
March 19, 2008
12:07 Bren. i would like to see you one last time before you hurt me so bad on tuesday that i give up on you. you need to understand that i love you. yet you won't even msg me. please! before its too late.
17:11 You must have no idea how much i miss you. please lets talk soon.
March 23, 2008 Easter Sunday [ I had returned home at around 3AM to find the house broken into, robbed and ransacked. See Robbery Pages]
10:16 Bren, how can you allow this to go on like this? talk to me.
11:23 Bren, max is dying. please find out what they drugged him with and let me know - asap.
14:09 we must talk. she is out of control. & i cant be sure it is you.
14:14 Call me. she trashed your room. dont you know?
14:17 They poisoned max.
14:20 You do know she came with a truck & cleaned out the house. right?
14:23 Timed it when i was at superstar. a team arrived & broke in. neighbors called police.
14:28 Well? did you know they were doing this?
14:30 I'd prefer to talk. i have never lied or used you. please lets talk.
14:33 How could you do that?
14:40 Why would you do that? i've tried so hard to talk to you. pls call - i really cant believe it is you txting. call me.
14:42 It isnt you- thats why you wont call.
18:37 When will you tell me why? i have explained my defensive approach. what justifies your actions? you know i offered you everything. why destroy your room & my house
20:10 why would you hurt me like this? so embarassed by my sons. where's my explanation? very sad you did this.
March 24, 2008
18:18 Am i going to see you tomorrow? remember the reason i appealed was for you to get the chance to break free. i am so hurt about the raid. police apologized for not stopping it. do you think it was cool that my friends did that to me? it just hurts to think you thought i deserved that.
21:39 So will i see you tomorrow? i hope so. i really mean that. it will be worth the hell of facing the woman who destroyed my family & returned with my friends to deny me everything.
21:55 ? please respond.
March 25, 2008
10:04 brennan. they lied and told the secretary they had no phone number for me. & took all my notes and files prepared for today. i hope you are ok. i worry about you.
17:07 Buddy, help is on the way. take it when it presents itself. --- especially in your chemistry class - getting a D up from that F is not your best effort. miss you so much.
March 26, 2008
10:46 Bren, i hope you didnt catch heat for not remembering your key. at least you didnt violate my trusting you. please come home to stay. they are out of control. i will win if i can survive the torture. the truth is on my side. they know that and no matter how big their team - truth scares them so much they'll do anything to prevent it. like stealing my files on custody & support. i am here to rescue you when you are ready. do the right thing- please come home.
13:25 Btw- keys are no longer in that spot. call me if you need into the house. we wanted to change your room anyway. now we'll have to, huh?
March 27, 2008
16:32 Bren, i hope you are safe. i am here whenever you want to come over. i love ya buddy.
16:56 YouTube search terance simon superstar
March 29, 2008
13:03 Bren, please remember you can change your custody whenever you want. come home. i will help you deal with everything. i love you bud. there is no reason to stay away. she is destroying so much. it shouldnt be this way. i am here for you always.
April 4, 2008
18:02 Brenni, let me know if you have some time this weekend for outback or cold stone. we need to talk about everything. please call me.
April 5, 2008
13:54 Bren, i wish you would simply tell me what the problem is between us. i hope you will explain. i love you.
April 6, 2008
14:19 Hey bren. thought i'd try again. do you want to meet for dinner? i would really like to know how you are. there's no way to resolve this without talking. and perhaps you can clue me in on why this has gotten so out of control. pls call.
April 10, 2008
17:23 Hey bren, i am very concerned that i have not heard from you since january. please get in touch with me. i miss you buddy.
April 14, 2008
16:58 Hey bren. give me a call. i am hoping you will be free to come home soon. you won't be forced to ignore me to protect your mother and the rest. i really miss you. call or come over when you find time. - dad
April 16, 2008
18:19 Congratulations!!! Drive safely.
April 18, 2008
16:59 Released. how can you allow this to go? come home. i am so worried about you living.
April 19, 2008
12:29 Bren. stop by . your license arrived here today. look forward to seeing you.
April 23, 2008
14:33 I would honestly love to speak with you. i've got your license here. stop by. please.
April 27, 2008
22:09 Hey. i was wondering how you were. miss you alot. would like to see you. i don't understand your avoidance.
April 30, 2008
6:33 Bren. your license-photo card is over here. hope you are ok. i miss you.
May 2, 2008
16:26 Bren please call me. i need to speak with you.
May 3, 2008
18:10 Bren. please - can we talk?
18:30 Everyday i cry when i think of you. every single day. youre breaking my heart. why?
May 4, 2008
15:59 Where are you? why are you ignoring my messages?
May 5, 2008
Brennan showed up at the house today. When asked why he hadn't responded to any phone calls or text message since January his response was "Because", "I don't know" and a few other non-responses. He further ignored his grandmother whom he hadn't seen since July of 2007. When it was called to his attention he barely turned in her direction to say HI. Watching this horrible behavior was incredibly upsetting. I didn't care if it had been months since I had seen him last, I wasn't going to tolerate the disrespect and asked him to leave. The Parental Alienation is complete. Perhaps the Custody Conciliator will will believe in it now that Sonya has successfully alienated both children from their father.
16:51 Sorry. i just want you to explain yourself. after 4 months you owe me that. how do you justify what she has done to us? she caused everything.
The following relates to Colin who ignored any attempt at resolving the Title / Insurance on the Malibu.
March 9, 2008
18:23 Terance to Colin - Are you stopping by while in the area?
18:23 Colin to Terance - Y
18:24 Terance to Colin - Y not?
18:25 Terance to Colin - 1.) to see me & max 2. to pick up the christmas cards from the grandmother you are ignoring. 3. to discuss insurance arrangments for the malibu. 4. to bring your brother by to visit. 5. need more?
18:45 Colin to Terance - tell grandma 2 call me. i would never ignore her. i will talk w you once you fix yourself. ps i never went on your website.
[On January 3, 2008, Colin sat for over an hour within 2 feet of his grandmother and completely ignored her being there. Sonya had coached the children to ignore their grandmother. Colin later indicated that his mother had told him he was not allowed to speak to his grandmother because of a protection from abuse order against herself which included his grandmother as an additional protectee.]
18:49 Terance to Colin - lol. colin don't lie to protect a liar. you did ignore your grandmother and she is very hurt that you are still ignoring her.
18:51 Colin to Terance - Tell her 2 call me!
18:53 Terance to Colin - grow up & call her yourself. do not upset her. respect her.
18:55 Terance to Colin - Ok i will call this week.
18:57 Terance to Colin - good. is brennans hand ok?
18:59 Colin to Terance - He said he has a lil scratch on it & is wondering what u r getting @
19:40 Terance to Colin - I thought perhaps he broke it BECAUSE HE HASN'T ANSWERED A CALL OR TXT MSG IN 2 MONTHS.
March 10, 2008
18:49 Terance to Colin - I must know what you are doing about car insurance. bill for malibu is 580 for the year. please stop by with the cash or drop the car at home.
March 12, 2008
14:59 Terance to Colin - Must hear from you about insurance for malibu ASAP.
19:30 Terance to Colin - Insurance expires in 2 weeks. i must know now so it doesn't lapse.